Day 2 OSCE

Damn those nerves.

While today's OSCE was better than yesterday's overall, it still didn't go as well as I'd hoped. At this point in time, my mind is filled with how I could have done better, what I should have said... Even though I keep telling myself  'forget about what's happened, there is nothing you can do now, just focus on revising for the exam on Friday...'. As much as I keep repeating that, I just can't stop reliving the nightmares from today and yesterday...



One of the today's station was ECG lead placement and interpretation. I was pretty good on the ECG placement part (I saw that I passed that, cheeky glance at the examiner's sheet) but then I saw she marked me borderline for the ECG interpretation part... That did not boost my confidence. I guess I was flustering quite a bit and didn't have a clear structure. The annoying thing is that I know how to read the ECG, I know how they want us to present it, I know the structure, but that just all went out of the window with the nerves. My mind was not a clear map, it was messed up wires, disorganised, and that was my downfall. Also, halfway on my tube journey to the library from the hospital, I realised that I also answered the wrong treatment for that ECG! Even though I know what the perfect answer is, I couldn't perform when it was really important. *facepalm* Words cannot describe how frustrated I am with myself.

There are moments now, when I just collapse my face into my hands and think 'Oh God, oh God, oh God, what if I've failed?! What if I've FAILED?!'.

There are some positive points though. I think the diabetic patient station went quite well. Also, the ethics and law one. I think everyone else found those ones better too.

Anyway, I shall tell myself again to not focus on the past and keep going forward. Friday will be the last day of exams!

Think happy thoughts.

Day 1 OSCE

So did that really just happen?

It's amazing what anxiety can do to you. I think I checked my examination reporting instructions email at least 20 times. 'Am I definitely going to this hospital at this time?' 'Oh God, what if the exam started on Monday rather than Tuesday?' 'Wait, am I sure I am meant to be here?'... I knew where I was supposed to be and when, I remembered that the first time I saw the email, but then the insecurities and nerves made me do crazy obsessive things.

So, on the day my heart rate was 92, which is definitely higher than the normal range. My resting heart rate is usually just below 60! This tells you how nervous I was feeling. We did have a nice lady giving us a debrief before the exam though. She was very light-hearted and that relaxed everyone a little bit.



Although, she did drop the news that we had to present back the history that we take in the history taking station. There was a massive groan from the audience. Shrieks of 'What? We were told we don't have to present in year 4?!'. It was all round hysterical for a good minute before we calmed down again. However, the station itself wasn't actually too bad.

Then onto the battlefield....

It started okay, had a few ups and downs, and I finished very badly on a station because I did the wrong examination! I was corrected half way through and I did manage 80% of the correct exam in the little time I had, so I really really hope I managed to salvage that.

We also had a very ambiguous Basic Life Support station. The patient was choking and we were meant to treat that first. In real life, that's what we would treat first thing, the man is choking! Duh! BUT in the exam, we were all thinking we need to do Danger, Response, Airway, Breathing, Circulation... So we were all working down this list because that's the expected structure of the exam (and the mark scheme). It took me a good few seconds to start treating the choking... Then I got stuck on an endless loop of CRP, and it got to the point that I got the examiner to do chest compressions at the 4th cycle because I said my arms are too tired and therefore I cannot give adequate chest compressions. I want to both laugh and cry at this. My friend laughed very loudly at this. I can only hope that he doesn't hate me and didn't fail me because I made him work. Hmmmm...

Also had a very ambiguous station about kidney function. Yeah, that was weird. Still don't know how the ideal consultation should have gone...

Everything else was okay-ish. And just a blur!

Tomorrow is the second half of OSCE.

And now back to preparing...

Oxford May Ball

I feel that the title of this blog is a little misrepresented as the ball was actually in June, and the ball was specifically held at Oriel College, called the Oriel Commemoration Ball. Anyway, it was a great night with lots of fun and games, open bar and lots of nibbles around. It was also a great excuse to get dressed up and look fancy. I didn't get as many pictures as I wanted, but when you are really having fun, you forget to take photos...

Enjoy the pics!



All smiles as we wait to enter in the queue... 

The theme was Gardens of Babylon... 



I didn't go on those, but people were swinging pretty high! I guess it's stronger than it looks... 



Oxford's a capella band. They were very impressive! Out of the Blue, check them out on Youtube!

BOOST JUICE BAR! THE best thing at the ball. Those ginger shots kept me going throughout the night. 

He is really happy.

My dress!



Strike a pose! If we were clever, we would have gone to the Bodleian library and posed in front of there for some lovely pictures with an Oxford-esque backdrop. But no... So here's a tree. 

There was a fire show at 2am-ish, it was AWESOME. It was partly really good because we warmed up with the fire.